I'm speaking in Church tomorrow. So I thought I'd share what I've prepared.
There Are No Shortcuts
to Christlike Love
We live in
an age of hyper individualism. This has
led us to believe that the best way to be happy is to pursue our own self
interest, and follow our own personal desires.
“What’s in it for me?” is the leading question of our time. I think other questions are much more
important: How can we learn to accept
others, and watch out for others? How
can we develop compassion, empathy and Christlike love? How can we stop asking “What’s in it for me?”
and think “How can I help?”
My father is
wise. He always had silly sayings that, when
thought about, helped me realize the importance of deep gospel principles. When my sister and I would argue about something
unimportant, my father would say, “That’s why we named you Sundy and her
G.J. – so we could tell you apart.” In other words, “Each of us is unique. People are different, but that’s not
necessarily bad.” I’m sure that this
silly saying has helped me to understand about differences in people around me,
and makes me realize that I need to have Christlike love and show kindness to
others who are not like me.
President
Gordon B. Hinckley also commented on a problem that is related to the principle
my father taught. He said, “We live in a
society that feeds on criticism.
Faultfinding is the substance of columnists and commentators, and there
is too much of this among our own people.
It is so easy to find fault, and to resist doing so requires much
discipline. … The enemy of truth would divide us and cultivate within us
attitudes of criticism which, if permitted to prevail, will only deter us in
the pursuit of our great divinely given goal.
We cannot afford to permit it to happen.”
More
questions: How SHOULD we respond in
these trouble times as we are faced with daily criticism and hostility in the
world? And how should we respond to the
everyday frictions and failings in our own lives?
I think the
answer can be found in the 13th Article of Faith: “We believe… in doing good to ALL men.” It seems to me that “doing good to ALL men”
is the same as compassion despite differences… and compassion leads to
Christlike love.
Differences
often cause us to separate ourselves from others. We feel comfortable with those who dress like
we do, think like we do, and act like we do; and we feel uncomfortable with
those who are different.
When I was a
little girl, my Primary music leader, Lyn Mortensen, taught me a song that
helps me to realize that Jesus wanted me to be kind to everyone:
If you don’t
walk as most people do,
Some people talk and laugh at you,
But I won’t! I won’t!
I’ll walk with you. I’ll talk with you.
That’s how I’ll show my love for you.
Jesus walked away from none.
He gave His love to everyone.
So I will! I will!
Physical
differences don’t matter at all and should never divide us. The woman who taught me this sweet Primary
song had a daughter with epilepsy and brain seizures. This song was personal to her. And she taught us all, through the use of
this beautiful song about kindness and acceptance and love.
Age is
another difference that should make very little difference. How well I remember when I was 15 years old
and was accepted into my mother’s group of Relief Society friends. I was 20 years younger than them. They seemed old. But I learned so much from the acceptance and
loving care of those older and wiser than I was. I still learn from the women I visit teach,
many of them much older or younger than I am.
I am grateful for their friendship, and their examples of Christlike
love.
Culture
differences also fall into this category.
We are a worldwide church and represent many different cultures. I grew up in the West. Moving to Kentucky was a huge cultural shock
for me. I wasn’t used to cashiers at the
grocery store making small talk. I wasn’t
used to people saying “ya’ll” and “It’s CODE outside.” And I didn’t realize how important the Derby
is. But I made a choice to absorb this
wonderful culture! I learned to love the
southern accent. I’ve made good friends
with the cashiers at Speedway who actually ask me about my life every time I
come in for a Coke. I’ve learned to love
this culture and this place I call home. – I’ve never been on a mission, but my husband,
who served in Brazil, bears testimony to this truth: Embracing and being kind to others who are
different lead to love. The missionary
effort is an inspired program: sending missionaries all over the world, where
they personally confront different languages, different ways of dressing,
different customs, and different food.
They arrive as strangers and foreigners, uncomfortable and very aware of
differences, but with a precious message of restored truth to deliver. That message motivates them to look beyond
the differences, and the differences give way to friendship and love.
Sometimes
there are differences with relationships where the differences DO matter –
differences involving values, principles, truth and the confirming religious
experience we call testimony. Truth
demands our allegiance, but it should not be a barrier to compassion, kindness
and love. To accept and love others, we
do not have to adopt their ideas or be condescending. We must remember that good people can have
mistaken beliefs.
The gospel
teaches us not to condemn our brothers and sisters for their weaknesses and
sins, but to show them by our lives how it is possible to escape sin through
learning and living the truth. Part of
our purpose in mortality is to learn and to lift each other up. I’m sure that Satan must laugh when we push
each other down – by faultfinding, criticism, name-calling, and labeling.
Being kind
and having compassion for ALL people is indeed the beginning of Christlike
love. Lyman Sherman was given some wonderful
counsel in the Doctrine and Covenants 108:7.
“Therefore, strengthen your brethren in all your conversation, in all
your prayers, in all your exhortations and in all your doings.” The word ALL appears four times in that
verse. It doesn’t leave much from for
exceptions.
Like the
Savior, if we can learn to be kind, allowing all men the privilege of seeing
truth at their own pace, we will have more Christlike love. Remember: Christ saw no enemies among His crucifiers. His example stands for all time to teach us
the path of kindness, compassion and perfect love. When we are filled with kindness, we are not
judgemental. The Savior taught, “Judge
not, and ye shall not be judged: … forgive, and ye shall be forgiven.”
“But,” you
ask, “what if people are rude?”
Have
compassion upon them.
“If they are
obnoxious?”
Be kind to
them.
“But what if
they offend? Surely I must do something
then?”
Love them.
“Wayward?”
The answer
is the same. Be kind. Love them.
I hope that
we can all be models of kindness. May we
ever live up to the words of the Savior:
“By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love
one to another.”
