And one in heaven looking down on me. Mom died on Thursday, January 12th in the morning. When dad called, I was surprised to discover that all I wanted (besides my mother) was my father and siblings. It was a hard day. My eyes hurt from the tears. But I was also grateful for the time I had with my amazing mom. And I was glad that she was no longer in pain.
The next morning, Scott and I were flying to Idaho to be with my family... thanks to my little brother, Ben, who is truly charitable in making sure everyone needs to be where they need to be. It was inspiring being with my sister and brothers. We laughed. We remembered. We cried. We marveled at how blessed we all were to be Gaydra's children. She lived an exemplary life and gave us more love than we could ever ask for. She was fierce in her love for each of us.
The night before the memorial, my mom's sister and brother, along with the majority of their children came. We spent the evening with cousins and reconnecting. Mom would have been overjoyed. All of my cousins lives were greatly impacted by my mom and her goodness. (In fact, the last week and a half of her life she spent time making each of them boxes of cards and small gifts from her - so they would know of her love for them. - again I am inspired by her willingness to put others first even when she was struggling with pain and exhaustion.)
The memorial was inspiring. Even though my mother only lived in Idaho for 2 1/2 years, and the past year was somewhat confined to her home, she made many friends. The chapel was completely full. I don't know what I expected. But it wasn't that.
Zane gave a talk that had us crying and laughing at the same time. He was "perfect" for the job. And he promises to send me a copy of it. (Hint. Hint. Zane, you still haven't sent it.) It was a truly beautiful tribute to our mom! I somehow managed to make an arrangement of "Heavenly Father Loves Me" and "For the Beauty of the Earth" for all of my mom's grandkids to sing with speaking parts between. It turned out lovely (if I say so myself.) And I also played an arrangement of "Be Still My Soul" for a special musical number.
G.J. and Ben also played parts in the memorial - G.J. created a lovely program. And Ben was the glue that held us together - he prayed - and the next day, he drove mom (in her casket) to Grand Junction, Colorado to be buried.
The drive to Colorado was scary. There was a huge storm and it was slow going. What made it enjoyable was that Scott and I got to ride with Zane and Tara. We talked and laughed and made memories together.
The burial was also incredible. It was icy cold on a Wednesday afternoon outside. I really didn't expect many people to show up. There were over 100 people there. My mom was soooooo loved. We did a short graveside service and felt the love of people I grew up with in my childhood home. I cried when mom's BTB group (Back To Basics - a group of friends who did LOTS together) made us gourmet sack lunches for the road trip home with pictures of mom's bears and hearts with BTB on them.
Scott and I drove home with dad. He was a champ throughout the whole ordeal. He went to everything because mom would have wanted him too. He was cordial and kind. I KNOW how much he is hurting (and still hurting) from loosing his eternal sweetheart. He is also a role model in my life. And I'm ever so grateful he's still here on earth with us for a while longer. I couldn't handle loosing both of them at once.
If you've read this far.... I'm doing OK. There are days when I really miss my mom. I have picked up the phone to call her a lot and then stopped. Thank goodness I believe in eternity and that families are forever.
Yesterday I participated in a Toastmasters Area Speech Contest. The speech I gave honored my mother and her legacy of courage. Before I performed, I prayed that Heavenly Father would let my mother know what I was doing and that I could make her proud. I felt her arms around me. She ALWAYS encouraged me to participate in Toastmasters. She even begged me to compete before she died. Well... I won. I'll be able to spread my mother's legacy again next month at the Division contest. Thank you, mom, for believing in me. Thank you for inspiring me. Thank you for loving me.
I gotta go cry now....
Here are some random photos:
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